Ever freaked out over something tiny a short reply, a small blunder, or someone’s throwaway comment and then caught yourself thinking, “Wow, why was I so worked up over that?” Yeah, you’re definitely not alone.
Honestly, those moments aren’t really about the little thing that set you off. It’s usually the pile-up inside you that was just waiting to burst. That tiny spark? It only caught because you’ve been carrying a whole lot of fuel.
Most days, it’s just emotional burnout. You drag around so much stuff: a lousy night’s sleep here, a stressful drive there, money worries that refuse to leave your mind, or just the constant grind of keeping your life in one piece. You power through. You keep it together. Then you get home, realise there’s no milk, or fumble your keys at the door and suddenly, you’re crying or snapping at someone you care about. Deep down, you’re not mad about the milk or the keys. That’s just your breaking point, where all the stress finally hits you head-on. Your nerves were maxed out, and that’s the moment everything spilled over.
What Does “Overreacting” Really Mean?
However, the picture changes in psychotherapy sessions. Your therapists will never perceive an extremely strong reaction to a specific event as a flaw in your personality, as a mistake, or as an example of your excessive dramatism. It is quite the opposite a strong emotional response should be perceived as an attempt of your body to signalise you about some inner conflicts. Just like a flashing light on a dashboard of your car, it tries to get your attention no matter how clumsily and messily it happens.
At first sight, your emotions might be absolutely disproportionate to the situation that happened. You might think why do you cry because of such a little thing like a broken spoon? Or why is your mood so spoiled just because of a minor remark from somebody. However, after careful analysis, it becomes clear why the intensity of your reactions corresponds precisely to the situation.
Actually, they correspond to another one, a deeper inner conflict. For instance, you are not only upset because your friend refused to go with you somewhere, but because your deepest feeling was hurt in some respect.
Your Brain Is Detecting Threats (Even When There Aren’t Any)
Despite our best efforts, our brains are still operating on an evolutionary software program created for a much more perilous world. At a subconscious level, your brain cares about your survival much more than about being cool or calm.
The mechanism behind this lies in the almond-shaped part of your brain known as the amygdala. You could call it your personal security system; it’s always on the lookout for danger. While it acts quickly, the amygdala doesn’t distinguish between various types of danger. Its approach is based on “better safe than sorry.” It can spark off a whole-body response long before your higher reasoning functions, such as the prefrontal cortex, get a chance to figure out what’s going on.
Sometimes, the security system gets fooled. It detects a threat in the modern world and thinks it’s a matter of life and death.
Past Experiences Are Getting Triggered
Most people perceive their memory system as a digital archive that holds various files they retrieve only when they need to use them. However, our emotional state does not function the same way. Indeed, a lot of our strong emotional reactions are dictated by the “ghosts” of events that occurred long ago. For example, growing up in an environment full of criticism, rejection, and being overlooked means that you developed a complex mechanism meant to prevent anything similar from happening ever again.
In psychology, these emotional responses are known as triggers. A trigger is the contemporary event that serves as a key to unlock certain emotional pain accumulated during the previous decade of life. Thus, although you may be at home in your kitchen or sitting at your desk in the office, your nervous system convinces you that you are back to being ten years old and having to face that old sting of “not being good enough”.
It is not surprising since scientific studies in the field of trauma show that our bodies retain memory of certain situations with amazing accuracy. For instance, despite you being unconscious of a particular memory, your heart rate, muscle tone, and stomach activity
You Might Be Emotionally Overloaded
Often, however, the collapse does not occur due to the situation in question but because the quantity becomes critical. We tend to believe that our ability to cope with stress is virtually limitless, yet in reality, we are similar to a glass of water which has been filling up during the past days or even weeks.
When emotionally overwhelmed, one’s resilience is extremely limited because he or she probably had to deal with several “micro-stressors” throughout recent days. The examples of such stress factors may include the malfunctioning coffee maker, an aggressive e-mail from a boss, fatigue, and an anxiety about the future. While each of the stressors can be handled individually, they combine into a significant internal tension when there is no release of pressure involved.
Consequently, any kind of disturbance whether it does concerns a traffic light failure, or accidentally dropping a pen or being late for work triggers the overflow. At this point, one may react negatively towards those close, feel anxious regarding minor problems, or burst out crying over nothing. Such reactions do not necessarily mean that a person lacks strength; rather, they show that his or her nervous system has reached its limit.